Cubs Drop Series to Milwaukee, Earn Rare Raspberry Beret

Helped in small part by Kris Bryant’s golden sombrero on Saturday, the Cubs earned themselves quite an embarrassing piece of headgear this weekend. I suppose it’s a good thing for everyone involved they took off their raspberry berets prior to donning Blackhawks sweaters in a show of support for their boys on the ice.

When you hear “raspberry,” most of you probably think of the tart fruit of a multitude of plant species in the genus Rubus of the rose family. The word might also conjure thoughts of a painful abrasion. But when I think about losing a series to the team with worst record in majors, I just hear fart noises, also known as — say it with me — raspberries.

The Cubs offense of late has looked like something you’d find in a second-hand store, though they did muster as many runs on Sunday (3) as they had in the previous three games combined. So there’s that.

But try as they might, the Cubs just couldn’t get anything going. Starlin Castro has heard several times that people didn’t like his kind ’cause he’s a bit too leisurely, but he had a couple plays on which he went first to third. Then again, he also had a hand in this…

Seemed like Anthony Rizzo was busy doing something close to nothing, which is quite different from the day before. So Logan Schafer raced around the bases like someone walking in through the out door. And he wasn’t the only ones helping the Cubs to make a mockery of themselves.

Mike “Dumpster” Fiers lit the home team up for the second time in the last year, making the Brewers glad Matt Garza’s injury opened a spot for him when it did. And built like is he is, Jonathan Broxton had the nerve to ask the Cubs if they meant to do him any harm. They didn’t, striking out 4 times in 2 innings vs. the keg-shaped beermaker.

It was also a bit concerning that the Cubs only walked twice Sunday against Jimmy Nelson, but more worrisome was the fact that they couldn’t seem to string together hard contact against the guy. Nelson was missing his spots all afternoon, but little came of it.

Even the Brewers catching a case of the dropsies couldn’t completely turn things in Chicago’s favor, though it felt good to see Ryan Braun oof that Chris Coghlan pop-up in the 4th inning. I mean, it was felt really good, almost enough to make me feel better about the loss.

In the end, this was a case of Ralphie Parker whaling away on Scut Farkus after the antagonist has gotten just a bit too big for his britches. Heck, they even tried to do the Brewers’ job for them on Saturday, as Rizzo and Addison Russell collided while going after a ball. I can’t say that the Cubs needed these losses, but it’s sure humbled the fans a bit.

If they had the chance to do it all again, I guarantee the Cubs would change a few strokes, but there’s no time travel in baseball. Now they’ll just have to get their kicks in against the division-leading Redbirds and then maybe again when they travel to Mill-e-wah-que, which is Algonquin for “the good land.”

In the meantime, let’s take a look at the clear highlight from the three-game set, Prince Addison’s first career homer.


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