Not sure how this is going to go or whether I’ll be able to keep it going on a consistent basis, but I’m going to try to publish my stream of consciousness during the game on as real time a basis as I can. You’re welcome and I’m sorry.
Diet Pepsi is the drink of choice, though I might switch to something with a bit more barley once the Cubs score. So I guess right after War Bear’s first AB.
Oh God, that law firm thing was a little on the cheesy side. But Dooch and that glorious coif can make just about anything sound good.
Poop. Two quick outs against Tomlin, who has already used the four-seamer half as many times (2) to Fowler as he did all of Game 3. Fowler and War Bear made contact, just not good kind. And now Bryant is OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
KEEP THROWING THAT CURVE!
And there’s Rizzo with a hit on the change, already equaling the team’s hit total vs. Tomlin from the previous game. This is good. Is Andrew Miller up yet? And Zobrist makes it three hits and time for Russell to not suck. Sit back and drive one here, son. He’s going to throw you strikes.
Rizzo’s dancing around like he’s playing for the Dodgers or something, hope it works better than it did for them.
Russell pops out to end the inning and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is awesome…ly bad and Rizzo and Zobrist score and the Indians are Redsing bad right now and I think Tomlin is shook and I need a beer but I refuse to get up and this is awesome and keep hitting strikes and I think that 0-1 pitch to Willy was pretty good but I’ll take it and the bullpen really is up and good take. Damn, thought Naquin was gonna drop it again.
Good stuff from Russell and WillCo, who only saw 9 pitches in 4 at-bats against Tomlin in Game 3. They saw that many in their two ABs in the 1st inning.
Arrieta dialing it up to 97 right out of the gate with a K and that’s a good start. Relaxed Jake is Good Jake, now time to do something about Kipnis. Hey, did you know he’s from the Chicagoland region and grew up a Cubs fan? Because he did. You might not have heard that because they’ve only mentioned it 50 times so far in the previous 5 games.
If Cowboy Joe’s gonna give that high strike — oh man, that frisbee is bending nicely — it’s gonna be a long night for the Indians hitters. And that was strike 3 and you’ve gotta know West is already starting up and getting ready for an ump show.
And there goes a two-out walk again, not ideal in that situation. Even though Arrieta did get a strikeout thrown away on that corner call. Gotta get Napoli and move on to the next inning here. I wonder sometimes whether Cowboy is just testing people when he makes these calls, either goading pitchers and managers into an argument or just seeing how the pitchers will respond. Like it’s some social experiment that only he knows about. Got heem!
Took a while because I was too hyped to move, but I’ve begun quaffing a Deschutes Fresh Squeezed out of a dope-ass vintage Cubs mug from a set my grandma gave me many years ago. I think my grandparents had had them since they were new and I fondly remember drinking Pepsi and black cows out of them back in the day.
0-2 hold! 0-2 hold! Javy’s already looking better. Hell of a play by Kipnis to get that one too. Already turned the lineup over, which is going to be huge. Cubs dictating the pace and making Tomlin work, which is something they absolutely didn’t do last time around. That wasn’t quite the exciting inning, but they’ll open up 2-3-4 in the 3rd.
Strike-throwing Jake is good and that curve is nasty af and holy jeez that throwback logo on Eddie Robinson’s jacket is like the most super racist caricature ever. I mean, I’m generally not one to get really up in arms about that stuff, but, like, that’s way worse than the current Chief Wahoo stuff they’ve got. And there’s that high gas to get Ramirez and oh my even more gas to get Chisenhall and now Fruity Pebbles grounds out and time to get runs.
I’m chanting “WAR BEAR” in my head right now for what it’s worth and also remembering the Score caller who said Schwarber shouldn’t be batting 2nd because he hadn’t had as many good at-bats as Zobrist. Hangacurvehangacurvehangacurvehangacurvehangacurvehangacurvehangacurve and there’s a walk on one hell of an AB. Or plate appearance. Whatever.
Nice job not listening to the CF out there, Lonnie. That situation has already produced one awful play and now you’ve got them getting angry. At least Naquin is angry, which he has a right to be given how loud he was yelling out there. I mean, I couldn’t hear him, but he was pretty demonstrative. And now Rizzo hammers a curve back up the middle to put two on for Zobrist and he smacks one through and good hold and Tomlin is gone.
I feel good about this Russell AB, let’s see about that doubles machine with what is now an 0-2 count and that’s good stuff man and OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Russ running to first with his chest out and his arms back looked like a child acting like a superhero and that is so beautiful and so indicative of what this team is and has meant for us.
Sorry for the break but it’s kinda academic now and I had to tuck the kids in and actually talk to my wife in a voice other than a low roar, which has been my general form of interpersonal communication since 8:08, which is exactly what the Cubs have been. An 808, I mean, which is shorthand for the Rollands 808, a drum machine that is ubiquitous in hip hop music. Looks like Believeland is quiet.
Oh, but they’re cheering heartily for that quick frame from Danny Salazar, so that’s cool. I wonder if that dude who walked by me and said “Cubs suck” and then flipped me off after I responded with “Cool story, bro” is there crying in his beer. I hope he is.
They got pretty crazy over that Kipnis hit though, so that’s good for them. Did you know that Kipnis is from northern Illinois and grew up a die-hard Cubs fan? He’s still haunted by 2003 (I won’t predict further, but I want to), in case you have muted the previous broadcasts. Lindor waves helplessly at some filth thrown his way by Arrieta.
Okay, that run’s no biggie. Still need a touchdown to tie, which isn’t really cause for much hope in Cleveland. Hell, I’m a Bears fan and I feel bad for fans there who’ve had to watch the jokes that organization has vomited up since they were granted a rebirth after their previous incarnation became the Ravens.
Ugh, going five-hole on the change is not good and should be a passed ball so let’s throw a fastball and get this dude out and that rally-cap-wearing home skillet is waving a box of Cocoa Krispies, which is as silly as it is cool. Jake, dude, that was pretty awful. Bases loaded here, let’s just get an out and move on and we’ll feel a lot better about this. Naquin can’t handle the chedder, got a swing like Swiss cheese. Arrieta got a good call on that first strike, needs to quit going outside so much. Bend it…WHOOOOO.
Bryant singles and Joe Buck says he’s gettin’ hot. Bryant, that is, not Buck. I guess Joe’s never seen him, which is probably because…
Happy Halloween! pic.twitter.com/mTlRmmh18J
— Deadspin (@Deadspin) October 31, 2016
Good luck unseeing that one, folks.
Heyo, Danny Salazar with 4 strikeouts in 2 innings, which is 4 more strikeouts than Tomlin had in 2.1 innings. Good thing they wanted to get Salazar stretched out though, since it worked out really well for them.
I really want to see Doctor Strange and I’m very much looking forward to taking Ryne (my son, for those of you who are late to the party on that one; as if anyone’s reading this) to the theater Friday.
Freaking Kipnis again?! Really? I remember hearing somewhere that he is from Chicago and was a Cubs fan growing up? Seriously, he was. I mean, it’s such an incredible story that I feel like it should be shared over and over, just screamed to the rooftops and beyond.
God that 0-1 swing from Javy was trash and then he gets 0-2 and doinks it for an infield single. Shoulda buried that pitch in the dirt, imo. That slo-mo shot of the spin (which, according to Joe Buck, is a new word that has been popularized by these World Series broadcasts) on the breaking ball is really, really dope. That’s the kind of thing that can bridge the gap between the “nerds” and the casual fans because it provides concrete visual evidence for what a lot of us (I’m like a quasi-nerd in that I like stats but am not necessarily accepted by said community for whatever reason) write about.
Shoot, forgot to follow up on this. Oh well, more people are reading stuff I wrote months ago because SEO is working wonders these days. The Cubs are winning by 5 and Joe Buck and John Smoltz are talking about Joe Maddon needing to use Aroldis Chapman because you have to lock down the W. Smoltz went so far as to guarantee that we’d see Chapman if the lead was 4 runs, probably 5. Like, why? It’s kinda safe to have an eye on Game 7 at this point, so why further burn the arm of a dude who went 8 outs Sunday night. Dumb as hell.
There’s some kid yelling within pickup range of a FOX mic and that was a clear strike that the Cowboy called a ball for a one-out walk and you’ve gotta love when a call like that results in a walk or whatever. And now Kipnis is up (I missed an AB because I was tweeting, sorry) and, double-turds, he got another hit.
Holy crap, Chapman is actually coming into the 7th inning of a 5-run game and I’m not sure what to think of this because why? Like, I get the idea that you don’t want the carousel to get spinning, but we’re talking one out. You can’t count on anyone else to get that? I guess if the logic is that you’re just gonna burn him till the arm falls off, it makes sense.
Goddammit (sorry, mom), I don’t like that play. Chapman actually got his ass to first and beat Lindor but he tweaked his ankle or knee or something and even though it doesn’t look serious I just don’t like it. I don’t like it at all, but it worked and move on and do not put him back out there.
Currently debating a tweet in which I said something about Maddon using Chapman in order to not have him available to pitch in Game 7. Which I said was not the case. Still, it’s kinda weird. And then Javy does what I’ve been saying and he takes on 0-2 and looks at a meatball. I suck.
Yeah, so I gave up on this for a while there and I’m sorry. I know both of you expect more from me and I’ve let you down and I’m almost in tears because of it. Except RIZZO GOES YARD
Except you really don’t expect more from me and I’ve been feeding the insatiable appetite for awesome tweets. The Cubs are up by a TD on Cleveland, which is something usually reserved for the Browns. Three more outs, let’s see it.
Chapman still in the game with a 7-run lead and this is real life. We are going to a Game 7 of World Series. Between the Cubs and Indians. Wow.